Diamond Eyes

I really want this eye shadow. It's called Medusa's Make-Up and it's super bright and I super want to wear it. But at six bucks a pop, I could buy food with that. Someday I'll get this eyeshadow and rock it. I want the really bright green, purple, blue,even the pink. And wear them together. It'll be crazy awesome under black light. I can't wait. I also found these eye-lashes that are bright red that glow under black light. But I'm growing out of my fake eyelash phase. They're a pain in the ass and area bitch to thrash dance in. Or Rave in and that's just not gonna work out. But this eyeshadow, I'm totally feeling. I can't wait. Gabe said purple was over, but I still want some purple. Just neon colors.

Is it weird that the only colors I'll really wear are Black or Neon? I'm just not into tan or gray, unless it's a band shirt. Then I'll rock it. So that's about it. I just really want this eye shadow.

Like Orange Juice and Toothpaste

So this is Jalaissa and I. (YES! I'm short, and VERY pale.) Imagine going to Disney and seeing us walking around together. lol It's pretty funny to see people's reaction to us being friends. We're as different personality wise as we are fashion wise. How do we get along? I'm still not sure. I was thinking about it and this is what I came up with. (For the TONS of people who read my blog. A.K.A Crystal and "some guy named Eric" lol)

Style:

Jalaissa- GAP, American Eagle, Hollasters(gag) Did I even spell those right? I doubt it. lol

Dixie- Hot Topic, Spencer's, stuff she makes, usually black, black, or rainbow(and black)

Life:

Jalaissa- Happy, bright, strong believer in God, knows where her life is going, has tons of friends, tons of talent, has a boyfriend and is happy with him, goes to school.

Dixie- Usually miserable, dark, strong believer in Music as a religion, has no idea where she's headed, but she's not turning around, has like two friends, lack of talent, in love with someone half way across the damn world, not happy being so far away, wants to be a musician.

I'm sure there's a ton more I just don't feel like thinking that hard.

Music:

Jalaissa- Happy, upbeat, no bad language, no "emo", worship, God loving music. (Not gunna lie, Skillet and Blindside rock ass.)

Dixie- Dark, usually depressing, Cobra Starship ('Nough said), usually pretty dirty, usually has the word fuck in it somewhere, a few not so God loving tunes, "emo" (whatever the hell that actually means now-a-days.)

I cuss like no mother fucker knows. I probably shouldn't, but whatever. She would never say a "bad" word in her life. I doubt life everyday, she never does. I don't know if I even want to believe in God, she believes in Him so much it's pretty interesting to listen to her talk. I've thought of suicide tons of times (don't freak, I'm not that stupid.), that thought never even entered her mind and never will. I laugh at scary, gory movies, she doesn't even want to watch them. (kudos for watching Sweeney Todd with me though. She loved it.) She barely wears eyeliner, I wear so much eye make-up I'm pretty sure no one knows what color my eyes actually are. I love hair dye, she is all natural. She's beautiful and confident, I've got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match. I don't even remember the last time I thought I looked good. (Just wait til Halloween, Parker, I'm gunna rock a Dr. Benzedrine, bright ass yellow top hat and suite like you wouldn't believe, bitch!)

So there's a lot. But when we're together we always have fun and laugh a lot. How? I don't know. But I wish the rest of the world would take it as a lesson. Different people can love each other no matter what. You don't have an excuse. Reinvent love, people!

Honorable Mention

FOB is playing a free show down in St. Petersburg and I REALLY want to go like whoa. I mean I'll cry of happiness if I can go. Jalaissa, if you're reading this, we should go. Don't make plans Wednesday and we're going. 8:00 PM. Let's go. PLEASE!!?? I mean, it would make my life oh so much better and happier and would make me almost as happy as I would be if you drove me to Oregon. But that's besides the point. ....No it's not, Jalaissa, let's take a trip to Oregon...or go see Fall Out Boy. I really want to go to that show. This Wednesday. Let's go. I'm serious. Omg. I WANNA GO!!!!

On a side note, Parker is Bitchmade. That's right I said it. Call us back, yo! That's it. I just want to go see Fall Out Boy. Super bad. Jesus.

I Don't Know Much About Classic Cars

So here's the down low. I want to get some Chucks. Some crazy ones. I want really bright colored ones, like lime green and yellow and purple and bright ass pink or something. And I'm going to draw on them with bright colored Sharpies. And then, yes it keeps going, I'm getting knee-high stripped socks to wear with them. It'll be amazing. I can't wait. I keep seeing all these chucks that are really plain and just...yeah, I want to change that. Crystal one-ups me though, she's getting ones in every color and never where a matching pair. It'll be amazing. I know you're jealous. Mine will just have brightly colored laves and doodles. We're gonna take the fashion industry by storm. people are going to steal our idea and then I'll kick their ass with my brightly colored Chocks. With mis-matched socks. Sound odd? It is. But just wait. It'll be the next big trend once Crystal starts doing it. I mean seriously, how many septum rings have you seen recently? Like a million. She got one before it was cool. I was killin' before killin' was cool.

This picture does not do justice to my idea. But it gets the point across. I'm just really bored.

The New Mrs. Benzedrine!

She's fucking amazing. No joke.

I got super bored. =-]

I love you Crystal.

Next big thing in the music biz! Watch out!

Before We Exchange Smoke Rings

Okay, so I'm in a typing mood. And I'm a little pissed. I was watching random Panic and FOB videos om YouTube (because apparently I have no life.) and seriously, these chicks are just flippin' a bitch. This chick was like, "I heard from a friend of mine who knows Pete Wentz personally (by the way, how many people say the "know Pete personally"? Like a million. They don't.) and she said that Pete was only into music for the money. I was honestly heart broken." Really? Chick who's name I do not know? Really? You can just listen to their lyrics, which Pete writes, and can tell he puts his whole heart into it. I mean, come on! She went on and on and on. I was like, "Chill out, take a deep breath, go jam to some Fall Out Boy." People don't give Pete enough respect. And you wonder why he has insecurities? Geezz..

To add to my rant, there's this huge group of little teeny-boppers freaking the fuck out about Brendon Urie. I was thinkin' he like...left the band or got a sex change or murdered Ryan, because theses chicks were just flipping. " I use to have so much respect for him and now he's just horrible." Want to know why? "I can't believe he smokes now." ....Really? People, come ON! He probably already smoked! You were just too busy staring at his tight jeans to notice. It's like being pissed that he drinks. Guess what? Ryan drinks, Spence Wentz drinks, Jon drinks. They all drank before they were 21? (gotta love London.) Jon probably smokes too, are you going to hate him? Jesus...Reality check; most of those amazing bands you listen to? They smoke. Yep. Most of them do. Gerard Way chain smokes like no mother fucker knows. Bert does everything you can think of. They're still amazing artists. And so is Brendon Urie. And, your mom probably smokes, so leave it alone.

Call me weird, but I don't care what they do, their music still blows my mind and keeps me breathing. So, to you Mr. Urie: Smoke on, my friend. Whatever makes you happy.

And I'd like to go on record saying, to those who think Pete Wentz doesn't care about anyone but himself? That statement itself pisses me off to the point that I can't think of words to put down. He's one of the MOST talented people in the world (I said it) and he can write it better than you ever felt it. (That was for you Crystal) He inspires me like you wouldn't believe. He makes me feel like I can take over the world if I tried hard enough. He makes me want to try. Honestly, it's because of him that I try so hard to improve my writing. I could only wish to someday write like that guy does. Really, kids, take a good listen to the words and think about them. Instead of labeling him "emo" because you can't understand what he wrote.

Maybe it's just me, but I think he's saved more lives than taken. How could you hate that? It's because of his words and Patrick Stump's voice that your son/daughter is still around. Maybe you should go give them a hug or something.

~Rant over~

In The Wake of Saturday

So I'm jammin' to some old school FOB and Patrick is super cute. Can that guy get more amazing? I think not. Him and Crystal are going to get married, and I'm gunna be their house keeper so I can chill with them all the time. That kid is amazing.

"Make me like, 80 feet tall, make me s transvestite, but do not forget my obsession with Prince."

"I don't want to mess this car up....actually, throw that out the window right now."

"I've never been here, but I'm going to pretend like I have."

Love it. =-] Almost as much as I love Crystal.

P.S. I miss the Martin and the "h"....

Oh Snap, Son

WARNING! THIS IS ABOUT HOCKEY!

Alex Ovechkin. He's my effing hero. I swear, that guy is the best. The NHL Skills is on, it's when a bunch of players go show off and have fun. And the best psrt is the trick shots. Last year, Ovechkin stole the show and this year, he did it again. In the middle of his turn, he skated back to Staal, Staal gave him his stick, a straw hat, and sunglasses. It was the funniest thing ever. I love it. That guy is the best. =-]

Okay, Crystal, I'm done with the Hockey. I had to blog that.

Sick And Tired of I Told You So

Why does he get $2000 for losing the car that he refused to pay for because he needed to by video games? Don't they know he'll just get the car back, lose it from not making his payments, and we'll be right back to square one? Why does this piss me off? Because, guess what was in that $2000? My $250 for my trip to Oregon. I'm going to flip a bitch if they tell me I can't go because they used my money for his fucking car. I swear to God I'll kill someone. I'll walk my ass up there, I don't care. I'm sick of him always getting the easy way out and I'm stuck being bitched at for never going anywhere. What the fuck, Chuck Norris? He'll probably spend it on fucking video games or Hockey gear then call cause he has no food money. Well guess what? No one else does either! He did go get us Wendy's today, that was boss. But still. A burger isn't equal to my plane ticket. I'll fucking explode if that two grand has my money in it...fuck, man.

I'm pissed, in case you didn't notice, I'm a nervous wreck.

I don't want to say "I told you so", but..

Stay Where I Can See You

I'm listening to the...Live In Chicago CD by Panic at the Disco, and it's amazing. =-] I love it. They sound fantastic, as always. But the difference, Ryan does all the talking to the crowd. It's awesome. =-] He's so adorable. And I realized that Ryan Ross has an accent. I don't know what it is, but he has one. It's super cute, but it's driving me mad! I just can't figure it out. People in Vegas don't have different accents, do they? Brendon doesn't. Neither does Spence Wentz. What the hell is it!? Damn him for being so adorable....wish I had a cute accent. Have you ever listen to him sing Nine In The Afternoon? The way he sings "back". It's nuts. And then when he's talking to the crowd before he sings Behind The Sea he has an accent. AND the way he says Panic at the Disco. Awesome. I don't know why, but I love it. Almost as much as I love Crystal.

You Will Find Me In The World Of Yesterday

I get in these moods. Where everything just seems so black. Don't get me wrong, I like black, it's the only thing I wear. But.."I want it so bad I'd shoot the sunshine into my veins." I crave the sun, but I can't get out of bed.

People always have memories, whether they are good or bad or even ones you really don't want to remember at all. But lately, I don't remember anything. As I'm sure people are probably sick of me being in a slump over my Grandma, but truth be told: I was a lot closer to her than you think. I mean, I've been helping to take care of her for 7 years. And before that, I spent almost everyday at her house. And spent the night almost every weekend with her when I was little. It always seemed like she'd fully pull through, no matter what the doctors told us. Like it was going to turn out fine. She was a fighter. Always. Stronger than I'll ever be. And I should have seen this coming but I didn't. It happened too fast. They told us that we'd know when the end was coming, but we didn't. It was like, one day, she's doing great, next day, she's in fucking Hospice. (Side note; Hospice was really amazing to us and to Grams, so I have nothing bad to say about them at all.)

The only memories I have start at the very moment mum called to tell me that they were taking her to Hospice. I was home alone, trying to cook dinner for my dad, and I had the worst emotional breakdown of my life. But I still didn't believe it. Then I called to talk to mum a few days later and I got to talk to Grams. It was heartbreaking and I balled like a fucking baby. Hardest I ever cried...ever. But I did get an opportunity that not a lot of people get. I did get to say goodbye (I did NOT say "goodbye". I told her I loved her...that was enough.) and I did get to tell her I loved her one last time. But still....a little bit longer and I'd be fine. (Truth be told, I'm lying.) But I got to thinking. What's worse? Not getting to say goodbye, or watching them slowly die everyday? They both have downs and ups...well, I wouldn't call them "ups", but you get my point. But really, this is not why I meant to post this. This is just my last memory before my mental inbox goes blank.

My point? I have a question. You see, I can't remember my Grandma. At all. Just when she was in Hospice, which really...that wasn't her. I either feel as if it's been a long, long time since she's been gone, or that she was never even there. Anyone else that has lost someone close feel this? Or am I just insane? I want to remember. I want to smile and think about the good times. I know there was so many, but I just cannot remember them. None of them. The last good memory I have was watching a movie with her and sharing a tuna sandwich with her while mum baked cookies. (which ended up being the best chocolate chip cookies I ever tasted in my life.) Why can I remember those cookies so damn well, but I don't remember what Gram thought of the cookies, what we talked about that day, what we talked about at all. But those cookies were fuckin' delicious. Am I a bad person? I want to remember more than those cookies....but it won't come to me. It's like she was only a dream. One of those dreams you know was great, but as soon as you woke up, you forgot the whole thing. I sit around everyday, and do nothing. Up side? My insomnia is taking a break. I guess not sleeping most of last year finally caught up to me. I NEVER can sleep. (Do to some issues I have..long story.) But now I sleep fine. And I really don't dream that much...except for that Brendon and Ryan dream, which was awesome.

I'm going to end this before my heart explodes. One last tid-bit? I sang that Good Charlotte song Thank You Mom to Gram when I got to sit with her alone.

You know, I say I'd love just one more day with her, but I wouldn't. Because I would still miss her just as much, I'd still hurt when she left just as much, no matter how much longer I had with her, and how selfish am I to want her to live in such pain and torture just so I can have her? She did her part....but I can't help but feel like...

(I didn't believe it until...well, I still don't.)

The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know

This dress blows my mind. I love it and I want it. That's just it. It makes me happy in the pants region. I swear my blogs will makes sense soon.

Exchanging Heat In The Passengers Seat

Okay. I found this picture and I thought it was crazy. I like how anytime there's a girl in the picture, Ryan looks super uncomfortable. The wind affect is the greatest. And girls wonder why short guys don't mind being short? Look where Brendon's face is. There's your answer ladies. Jon...just likes Brendon a lot. Spencer just looks good.

Mr. Moth Come Quick

So, I need to post a first blog. So I'm going to ramble about nothing. Or rather, Pete Wentz. Looking bangin' of course. Makes me wonder if it was just THAT cold out, or was he just trying to see how many hoodies he can cram on. Can't go wrong with the Starbucks cup though. =-]

I really have nothing to say, and no one will read this, so you know. Ten bucks to anyone who can find a Clandestine bat on him somewhere.