Walk Alone

I won't cry for you, like I always did before. My eyes have run dry these days. Although I walk around and my face tells you I just don't care, I'm really just...
Broken
Have you ever been so broken, you don't know how to feel anymore? Shattered one too many times that it's not even worth picking up the pieces? If I stare at the moon long enough, the rest of the world fades away, and I start to feel okay. But when I let the day, the nights fall back in, I feel myself run cold again. Forever alone.
In a room, always in a room, full of voices, beautiful people, that I do so love...I am alone. I'm just lost in my own mind, wondering through this desert night, spotted with trees like skeletons. Nothing more, nothing less. I just wonder. Waiting to find something.
Anything.
In this desert, though, there is a lone wolf, who follows my short foot steps. I now walk gladly beside her, black as night, eyes of ice blue. We've grown so close. When she's out of sight, I somehow know she still wonders in this place. The same broken earth, under the same pale moonlight. And when we cross again, it seems much warmer. We climb the trees, we rake the sand into intricate patterns. Even smile. Although I feel alone, she does too, and we can see it in each other. We never speak of it. We just...
know.
When I stop to rest, I can hear her howls in the air, a painful reminder that she's just as broken as I am. I would give anything to help her find her way home, but in the end I know
Neither of us know where home is. Sometimes I don't want to know. Sometimes I like this hollow desert. I feel it's all I have. She's all I have. A lone wolf. But, my dearest friend, you're not alone. No matter how far away I wonder. We always end up back at the same dark tree stump, watching the cracks grow.
The world can see us in the daylight, a smile on our face, miles away from each other, but what no one really knows, until now, is that, even as we talk to you, as we laugh and play, we're still in the same, cold, dark, shadow-filled desert wondering alone.
Broken and lost we may be, but I'll always have her, and she'll always have me.
Just a ghost
And a shell of a girl you used to know.
We walk alone.

How

How dare you? How dare you bring me back to those thoughts, those feelings? How dare you come back here looking for love? You think it's funny? This is not a game, not a contest of who can break who more. Trust, if it was, you would win far sooner than I could ever even try.
I would give my life for you, I would have dropped everything in my life to bring a smile to your world. Anything. I still would. But I know, you would simply watch me die, you wouldn't walk two miles for me, wouldn't give me a second glance. Until the rest of the world turns it's back on you, knowing you to be the black-hearted killer that you are. It's only then that your voice falls to me, to pick you up, tell you your worth it, tell you all the little things that you want to hear. And I fall for it every time.
But how dare you use that against me? How dare you!? What were you thinking when those words left your lips? Do you even know, that you're the reason my heart can never heal, can never love another the way it fell for you? Do you just collect hearts, in your own little world where you're the only one anyone will ever need? Until that moment comes where there's a crack in your bubble, calling to me to fix it right up. And I always do. But each time I mend your world, I'm always the one left on the outside. Do you know it's cold out here? Do you know how lonely it can be with nothing here, watching you smile and capture those other girls with your lies and beautiful blue eyes? Do you even care that each time, I bleed a little longer? That it hurts so much more every time I fix you? But I do it anyway, because knowing your happy was worth it before. But not today. Today you've shown me what I've been questioning for so long. I've bled for so many years now, I've grown used to the cold. Did you know?
That you're the reason that I'm a ghost?

No. And you never will, as I fade outside of your world. But what happens when I can't fix it anymore? You'll see quickly that I really was SOMETHING to you.
Forever just a ghost. I will always be.
How dare you be the one to kill me? Don't you know I have so much to live for, so many people to love, to laugh with? Why would you take my life when I spend so much of myself to keep you alive?
How could you?
Because you don't care.
But I'll always love you. Until you truly cause me to fade away for good.

The Waiting Game

I never really search for the touch of someone. I always wait for it. Sitting in a dress I've made for you, my make-up on just right to make my face shine just the way I want it to.
But I've been waiting for so long, that dress is faded, my make-up is worn off, streaked from the occasional tears and walk slowly down my face. I shift in this chair uncomfortably, but I never move. I wait. For you.
Although I have seen you here. You've walked by several times. You hand me a glance, just once, maybe even twice if I'm lucky. And that's just enough to make me continue waiting. If you had never given me that look, that slight cracked smile, I might have been able to stand up, and walk away. Find a brighter starlight.
But your eyes are just so brilliant, that I MUST see them again. And what if you actually stop this time? What if you actually came looking and I wasn't here anymore? What if you're just waiting for the right time to take me away? I have to stay here.
And wait.
For how long? I don't know. But with each day that I stare into this empty space, my heart loses another beat. One day, if I still watch the same scene, breath this same air, I just might fade away. And when you do finally come for me, I'll be heartless, dead to you. Eyes black, skin cold. I won't be the girl you knew. So take your time, keep me here with your slight glances, your cracked smile that puts the idea in my mind that, maybe that smile was for me. Keep me in your trap.
Maybe someday, when I just can't stand the lonely days, the screaming nights, I'll walk away. I'll stand from this chair and leave this world. But then I won't have the chance of seeing that smile just
one
more
time.

Fallen

I watch you from my window pane, sitting atop your roof, like a the fallen angel you are. When the wind carries just right, I can hear you sing, such a sad song. But I understand the words all too well. I know that if i spoke to you, we could find that we are too much alike. We could sit among the stars and steal away the moon. The darkness will keep us from the eyes of the world.
I sit here every night, watching you, watching the lights. I wonder if you'll ever jump. I'm sure you've thought it once or twice, but falling once if well enough for you.

I never see you around. Only in the night air can I see you're still there. Holding me close to your sorrow, I can only think of how much it hurts to break the silence. I just want to know;
Do you see me too?
Or am I still, nothing but a ghost.