Like Glass

I'm just as breakable as the rest. just as cracked as anyone else with the same blackness in their eyes. I feel just as low as the ocean floor, forgotten about and unknown. But you'll never see me bleed. It's you that gave me my scars, but I hold them dear. Because no matter how many I collect, I'm still going to clean up the mess, pick up the pieces, and stand taller each time you break me down. I'm the most powerful girl I know. I was built that way. By a mother with the brightest colors of all the stars, all the flowers on a bright spring day. By a grandmother who showed me the world has so much more beauty in all the smallest, hidden places. By a father who taught me life has so much more for me than what I can see from my back porch. From a brother who knows me better than anyone, without knowing that much about me at all. But he always knows who -I- am.
I've been around, I see the lives others lead, the voices they hold dear, the eyes they search for, always waiting for something. I always wonder what they're waiting for. I think if they went looking, instead of waiting, they would find everything. But I can't really say much, I never leave my own world. It gets dark, but I won't let that show to you.
Though I know you'll never see these words, never hear my screams to you, never even care, I feel the need to tell empty space what I wish you would listen to. You may know just how to bring me down, you may know how to rip my heart into thousands of pieces, but I will never give you the pleasure of seeing me die.
You make it hard for me to love. You make it hard for me to let myself go. You control me. I can admit. But I know you'll never notice. You'd have to remember my name to see that. If I could let you go. If I could take these pieces and walk along my lonely road, I could. And never look back. But I'd have to miss out on seeing you fall apart when you see me from my place, up high, on top of the world, in love and in the sun. We'll see how well you like to be shattered, like a pane of glass.

The Girl In The Field

I see her almost every night
In a spot of moonlight
Maybe in a field or even in my arms
I hold her tight
She never speaks
Or when she does, you know she keeps
A deadly secret all to herself
She'll never let it go

She seems so beautiful
Black hair and opalescent skin
She'll keep me company any day, any night
But there's something missing

I ask one day, might she lay with me
Her eyes grow wide as she agrees
I ask for her story
But as always she'll avoid me
Her beauty is much too grand to keep it hidden
I want her to meet all my friends
Her face runs cold and her voice so still
"Let me tell you a story,

They won't see me as you do
They won't understand our friendship as I do
There was a girl, who never knew of love
She spent all her time alone
She never wanted it be like this
But she knew she wouldn't be missed
I left it all behind, where I once lived
Where I was a kid
Now, to anyone, at most
I'm just a ghost."

The Eccedentesiast

Wait
I think they're looking
Make sure that light is shinning
I have a smile to ease the soul
Warm any cold
You say it's genuine.
But I know it's fading
I can only hold it there for so long
Before the light is finally gone

I know just where to hide
To keep my secrets alive
You'll never see that happiness die
For in the shadows, my loneliness hides
Sometimes I forget
And let a little heartache slip
But I'll save it quick
With explanation "I'm just feeling sick"
You'll believe
They always do
And when I walk away
You won't think twice

In the night, it's all too real
No more painted masks
No more calculated laughs
Just the moon and all it's broken pieces
At last
I'm just The Eccedentesiast