Roses and Spiderwebs

Can't scratch it away, can't fight it away. Let's run with it, see where it can take us. Everything has a right and wrong. It's what you do with the wrong that could make or break the right. We could be halfway to nowhere, and never know it. But let's enjoy it, instead of fear it, like the shine of a spiderweb, enough to give you chills, but you can always just push through. Even if it means the chance of getting bitten.
There's no need to tell anyone. Just before daybreak, we'll take it in our own hands. Find that rose hiding in the woods, beyond the cries, the screams, the shivers that tag along with the ride. No one is left to stop you, don't look back, you're safe now. As long as you stay with me. I'll keep you here. Live, and let me die for you, if I have to.
Whatever the end, the story will play out like the greatest movie you ever could see. Better than the imagination that created the world you're in right now. It's full of shadows, so shine your smile and brighten the day. There's nothing to hide, no where left to hide. No need to hide. Just a need to find.
Find everything.
That small chance, even if it grows, of getting bitten is always worth seeing what's on the other side of your eyes.
You love to breathe anything with life. To fill the thought of losing what you have. So lock it away. Get on that plane. Let's fly to anywhere the sun can shine. Even in the darkness, the light will always bring you "home".
You have two choices;
Take the path that's full of ordinary roses, blooming in the sunlight. Or take the road that's covered in spiderwebs. One Guarantees a minor beauty, but it gets old and you're left wondering. One gives you the creeps, but if you can get past it, what lies behind could blow your mind, never leave you wondering, always filled with surprises.
Take your first step. And I'll see you on the other side.

Smile On The Outside

Have you ever just played some music, closed your eyes, and let the song capture you? The notes spinning softly around your body, lifting you into the night sky, away from everything. I only wanted to feel wanted. I only wanted to be known, not forgotten. Now I've gotten myself into a sick place and I can't find the exit. So if you could please point me to the door, I'll just be on my way. Although, I know you couldn't even if you wanted to.
I fear only myself in this life. I am all that holds me from all I dream of, all I wish for. Wishes are for the children watching sappy Disney movies. As I've grown, I wish no more, I have to make it happen myself. And yet...I don't. I blame no one but my own thoughts. Selfish as I may be at times, I'm good at hiding it from my loved ones.
Sometimes when I can't sleep, I think of you. What would it be like to go to sleep every night, not knowing if your eyes would open to daylight, or the light of God welcoming you to a place unknown? You were so strong. I know you didn't sleep well. I could hear it from my resting place on the tiny couch right outside your bedroom door. I heard the sounds of pain, but if it fell silent, it hurt so much more. A fear I realize rather quickly. Yet, you never forced yourself to be awake in the nights. You always dreamt, and you always held onto your wishes.
I wish you were here, so I could ask you, I could understand so much more. You could help me. I could help you. Even though we all know how helpless I am. Hopeless and fallen. And I've been lying here for far too long, please pick me up. Carry me somewhere; Anywhere. But you'll never be mine. not again. I had my chance. for 20 years. And I did nothing.
I only wanted to be something, be someone, now I fear I'm just a ghost, waking every night from what seems to be my certain death, I can't see if I'm alive or just stuck here to watch the world spin around. Am I a ghost? It's harder and harder to tell.
I really can't breath without you, for if I do try, I drown. I want to be in love with my soul. And I am. I have so much to show. But I get so lost in my thoughts, in my constant confusion that I forget to tell you, forget to show you; Therefore forgotten I should be.
I can say it a million times, in a million different ways, but I'll never truly believe that I can show the world my star. The one I carry in my pocket waiting to shine and blind the world with so much beauty. I have it. I do. I just forget to show it to you. A ghost doesn't need a star. But I'm not dead yet, I promise you. I think I'm alive. Right? You wouldn't know me if I were not...right?

I must be dead, surly there was no way to pull through such things.
It's just a dream, Doctor Benzedrine, like your name, a dream is something everyone longs for, a night full of rest. But it's the rest I dread. I just want to sleep, without the confusion.
Hold me (Don't touch me, please.) Stay the night and lay with me. (If you're there, you might kill me. Don't stay. Please go.) Be there while I weep. (I don't cry anymore. he says I'm not aloud to cry.....he's not real....but I still fear. Let's fake a smile instead.)
"I'm about to lose my mind. I need a doctor, call me a doctor, to bring me back to life."