Struck by moonlight

It's time like now I think I've got a problem. It's called a fuck it problem. I just....don't....care.

It's when you realize she's never coming home, and you think...why am I still here?
It's when you realize half your life is a lie, and you think...let's go find the truth.
It's when you realize the "let's" never really involved an "us"....and you wonder where all this loneliness came from.
It's when you realize nothing else matters....and that's that. Nothing matters.

I used to wish I could see her face, touch her skin, hold her and never let go. But in thinking this, I've really let you go more than I thought. I never meant to hurt you, but look at me now. I'm a queen of let down. I didn't let anyone down but myself.

It's when you realize, you need to make you happy and no one else.

I walked alone for the first time in over a year. I picked up a rock and held it close to my chest. Why? I don't know. I need to fly. I need to see the lights, the faces, the towns no one has heard of. By my side will be my thought of you. A memory is just a photograph, waiting for a picture frame. All I've done is let the picture get dusty and then I threw it away. I lost a lot of myself that day. A lot that I'll never get back.

It's when you realize who you were, isn't who you are....you need to find a new face.

Growing doesn't have to mean dying but that's all I'm doing here. I sleep, I wake, I eat, I sleep. I'm waiting...for nothing. I'd love to say, "Well not any more! World, here I come!" but I know that's a load of bullshit. I'll sit and do the same thing tomorrow.

It's when you realize, .................nothing at all........that's when you know.

I dream of a pretty smile, one that I'll never see, never hold, never love again. That smile holds my heart, and I refuse to take it back. I'll walk the world aimlessly until I find a place to relax.

It's when you realize...all this time you never wanted to be alone....it's all you ever wanted. To be on your own.

I'll miss you forever, but I'd never want to curse you with this hellish place.


ALWAYS AND FOREVER